Kim's Long Blog - October 2007

October 3, 2007
It's been a while sense I last blogged, and I thought I might share a little bit of my heart with you. Honestly, it doesn't take too much time to see a world of change in a person's life. Sometimes, the change seems slow. Believe me, I know those times aren't always fun; but in my case, over the past 6 months, change has come at a very fast pace. One of those changes has been watching my daughter, Lauren, graduate from High School, and then dropping her off at college. I have also moved to a new townhouse, and we all know how "fun" moving can be. I have had to pinch myself as Alexia, my youngest child, started her Jr. Year of High School. I have also had the blessing of reacquainting myself with old friends.

Change isn't always the thing we welcome. When the Lord took my Dad home to be with Him, it was very sudden, and I was not at all ready for that kind of change. We move along in our lives constantly wanting to keep our "happy" factor, and once we've settled into it, life always brings something to turn our world upside down. At the time of my Dad's death, I didn't want or ask for that kind of change. As a matter of fact, I was very angry with God for taking my Dad home. My Dad was only 52!! At the time, my girls were so small, and I couldn't believe they would have to grow up not knowing what it would be like to be around their "Papa."

As with so many times in my life, God was patient and loving. He could handle my anger. He used that anger to bring me right back to Him. I remember one day, I was taking some time to just be by myself and think about my Dad. I stopped at an empty baseball field and found a seat in the bleachers. My Dad officiated baseball, football and basketball, so that seemed like the perfect place. Tears started streaming down my face as I sat there and cried out to God asking Him why He took my Dad. In that moment, I sensed the Lord shout to my heart, "Kim you think your earthly Daddy was awesome? With all his humor and integrity? Your 6'8" Gentle Giant Papa Bear of a Daddy....you think he was great?" At the top of my lungs I cried out, "YES GOD HE WAS JUST AWESOME!!!" Right in that moment, God whispered to me...."I made him, he was my idea. All his color and light was placed there by me."

When God speaks in a whisper, it's like thunder! I felt that way when God spoke to me in that moment. Wow!! The light turned on. God made my Dad! It was not exactly new information. I learned that God made all things as a toddler... but now, because of the depth of the "change" that came when my Dad died, I felt closer to God then I had in my whole life of growing up in the church. Change...He is always working on us.